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Reality Check » My Thoughts

Archive for the ‘My Thoughts’ Category

9 lives!

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012
Myth! Cats have nine lives.

According to a myth in many cultures, cats have multiple lives. In many countries, they are believed to have nine lives, but in Germany and some Spanish-speaking regions they are said to have seven lives,while in Turkish and Arabic traditions the number of lives is six. The myth is attributed to the natural suppleness and swiftness cats exhibit to escape life-threatening situations.Also lending credence to this myth is the fact that falling cats often land on their feet, using an instinctiverighting reflex to twist their bodies around. Nonetheless, cats can still be injured or killed by a high fall.

The nine lives of Me! Fact or Fiction?
Why am I doing what I do? What events in someone’s life would cause them to alter the life they were leading?
I think. That’s what I do. Some people do physical labour. Some people use their brains. Me, I use my mind. There is a difference between the mind and the brain. Though it may not seem like work and not many people see the impact my thinking has on the world, I can guarantee each one of you that the impact is greater than will ever be measured.
A few weeks back my mind started making a connection between events in my life and the mythological 9 lives of cats. You see, I also have nine lives. Maybe less, maybe more. Nine lives that is, with a 2 second rule.
When I was a teenager my parents, my brother, and I, were in a car accident. We lost a battle with a freight train. The car was totalled, but no one was hurt. Coming round a corner in a yield, the train arrived at the road crossing at the same time as the car. A last second maneuver by the driver, my father, and the right front fender hit the freight train engine which swung us around and then the train hit the right rear fender pushing us into a snowbank.
Two seconds.
If we would have been at that intersection two seconds sooner we would have been on the railroad tracks and in front of the train. And most probably dead!
Two seconds.
Last year I’m driving my Mini Cooper from Vancouver to Calgary through the Rocky Mountains. That car is so much fun to drive on twisty roads. I’m coming around a blind corner and this really big truck is in the middle of my lane. I was lucky (if luck exists) because in that very corner the highway had some extra paving on the right shoulder. I was able to maneuver over to the side and avoid smashing head on into that very big truck.
Two seconds.
If I would have been two seconds faster I would have been at the corner, past the extra paving, when the truck would have come around the corner. I wouldn’t have had anywhere to go…but into the front grill of that truck, or into the mountain side. Dead!
Two seconds.
In the spring of 2000 I dropped my daughter off at school after a dental appointment. The traffic light at the intersection at the school wasn’t working. Everybody stopped and waited their turn. I remember thinking as I was stopped whether I should turn right to get to work or go straight. I decide to go straight. The next thing I remember is my head smashing against the driver’s side window. A teenager in a camaro had failed to stop, or even slow down (it was a school zone) and hit me dead on in the center of my Jeep Cherokee. I didn’t see him coming because of a curve and a bunch of school buses parked along that curve.
The impact bent the frame on the driver’s side of the vehicle to the middle of the car. The driver’s seat was half of what it was before. I survived, but for a black eye, a headache and neck pain that I feel on a daily basis these days. Why did I survive without spending any time in the hospital?
The vehicles! The car was low in the front and the Jeep had a high door frame and seating was elevated. The young driver hit the brakes and the car nose dived. The lowered car position and the high seating position in my Jeep saved my life. If a vehicle with a higher or larger front would have hit me or if I would have been in a lower seating position I would have been seriously injured or be dead. Remember how I mentioned that the Jeep frame was bent to the center of the  vehicle and that my seat was half it’s normal size. Any lower and the seat would have been totally squished with me in it.
Two seconds.
Five years later and another car accident. Something minor. According to experts that accident triggered my fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue symptoms. One and a half years later and I stopped working as I had no energy. The experts say that there is no cure. I was told to “deal” with it. Forty plus years old and spend the rest of your life not being able to actually live and enjoy life. I might have been physically alive but psychologically the knowledge that I might never live the way I had planned on growing old sucked the little energy that I did have away. I might as well have died in that car accident in 2000.
Two seconds.
We don’t realize how two seconds can change your life. How many thoughts can you have in two seconds? What happens when you dwell on those two second thoughts for too long? Those two second thoughts start impacting the direction of your life.
Last spring a past classmate of my youngest daughter killed himself. A few years earlier he started having chronic pain and fatigue similar to fibromyalgia, but on a more severe scale. A highly active 15 year old now bed riddden and in constant pain. Here is an article chronicling his story:

Two seconds.

Yes. That is all it takes to change your life. An event that you have no control over can change your life in two seconds. Two seconds and an event that could have happened and impacted your life, doesn’t. A two second thought that could impact your life is within your control. What you do with those two seconds is up to you.

Two seconds…Nine lives…

My two second thought has lead me on an amazing journey the past five and a half years. I made a decision that I cannot regret. If I would have listened to the “experts” I would probably still be sitting in front of my TV in Calgary watching some stupid show and be brain dead. Instead I haven’t had any fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue symptoms in a year and a half. Last summer I went to see my doctor. He’s amazed at what I’ve done. He’s never heard of anyone “curing” themselves of those symptoms. Everyone else “manages” the symptoms to lead “half-normal” lives. I prefer to live the life I live, no matter how unorthodox it may seem to everyone, because for me living a “half-normal” life is the same as being dead.

I may not know what tomorrow will bring because I live the two second rule every second of every day. I control my two second thoughts for the direction I would like my life to go but know that the next two seconds can impact the rest of my live in a direction a hadn’t forseen. Good or bad doesn’t matter because there are plenty of two seconds in every minute of every hour of every day.

Nine lives!

Fact! We all have nines lives, maybe more, maybe less. It’s those two second thoughts that will decide how many you will have.

Think It! Feel It! Live It! Love It!

Scary Stuff-Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Today I’m going to talk about scary stuff. The scariest of them all that I could talk about and am an expert at is My Mind.

No body knows My MInd better than me. If psychologists and psychiatrists poked and prodded around My Mind I am quite sure they would become insane.

The really big question is how is it that I don’t go insane with the mind that I have?

People reading my Facebook comments have stopped questioning me about my postings because they just don’t make sense to them. Let the crazy person ramble. Just like the homeless “bum” muttering to himself in the streets.

My MInd is a Miracle. How else to explain what it sees. My MInd, you see, easily understands concepts. It’s not into details and specifics. I read a complicated book on physics, or cosmology, or religion, and I can associate the “grand” concepts. My Mind remembers the concepts, not the specifics and details. That might be the reason I have a hard time making others see and understand what I know. How do you summarize grand concepts from 1000’s of pages of stuff I’ve read into one or two line “sound bites” or “Tweets”.

That’s also the reason that I probably go off in divergent tangents each time I have a conversation about my life and what I do. My life, like My Mind, is about grand concepts and ideas that diverge in numerous direction like a multidimensional spider-web.

My Mind, like My Life can only be understood by me. Actually, by some strange Law of the Universe, the one only other person who seemed to truly understand me is the one person who is not in it (physically), Pranee. I’ve made numerous mentions that we connected at a level that is difficult to explain. Yes, we verbalized each other’ thoughts. We understood each other without speaking. We were/are, in a lot of ways, a reflection of each other. Mirror images.

My Mind doesn’t just SEE, it KNOWS. My Journey the past few years has provided me with information that would have taken a lifetime to understand if all I would have done is read. By discovering the information by actually experiencing the theories the learning curve was much steeper.

I could post non stop on Twitter and on Facebook the thoughts and ideas that pass through My Mind. It would all seem like random ramblings. I rarely, if ever, get my postings “liked” on Facebook and no one re-tweets my Twitter posts, but that’s not the purpose. the reason. I don’t even get “real” comments on my blog.

None of that is important. Really! My life is what my life is. My Mind is what My Mind is. Peace and Freedom is what you achieve when you arrive at a point where nothing matters anymore. Once you arrive at the point where nothing matters anymore, only then, can you realize that the one only thing remaining that actually does matter is LOVE. At that point you are completely empowered because nothing can dis-empower you. Once you realize that you have nothing to lose then nothing anyone else does, matters. Then you are completely free. You have no reasons to fear anything.

After this point all that you receive is a gift, a bonus. You’ve had nothing. You can go back to nothing.

Yes, having Pranee “run away” from me hurt like hell and it “broke my heart”. She didn’t die. She’s still out there, somewhere. There’s the saying, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”. It’s all Bull Shit.

If we don’t know what we don’t know than, than we can’t miss what we’ve never had. Try going from owning and driving a Ferrari to only being able to afford a rusted out Ford Fiesta. Or, living in Beverly Hills and ending up in the slums of Calcutta. Can our mind adapt to the changes? Yes. Would we enjoy it? I doubt it.

My Mind is a scary place because I know that I am a genius (according to some psychological tests), that it can understand scientific, medical and spiritual concepts that baffle many great minds, but that there is one concept that I fail to understand from a logical and common sense perspective.

My MInd is a Scary place because the one thing it cannot comprehend is Love.

Love does not come from the mind. Love is the only, one true feeling. All the other feelings come from the mind. Don’t believe me. Think about it. But then, maybe only My Mind can understand that concept. If you don’t understand the Tao Te Ching, than really, what can you understand?

Happy Halloween Every Body!

Choices and Conundrums

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

It’s been a week full of choices and conundrums.

I’ve been reading a book called, The Second Book of the Tao, written by Stephen Mitchell. We all know that the first book of the Tao is the Tao Te Ching, written by Lao-tzu (6th century B.C.) The conundrum is that there is no second book of the Tao. None was ever written. But I’m reading it. How can I be reading something that doesn’t exist? If you can understand how something that doesn’t exist can exist in another form than in the form that we believe that it should exist then you are far along the (non)-path towards being a Master.

It is in understanding the Tao that we come to know that life is really just a conundrum.

def. Conundrum


  1. A confusing and difficult problem or question
  2. A question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle

Yes, life is a riddle. My life is a riddle.

I was going to start writing this, after much procrastination, delay, or maybe, the time just wasn’t right to write, when I decided to moderate some comments that were waiting to be posted to some of my prior blog entries. Instead of moderating I decided to re-read one of my entries from May 2009, Sorcery, Monsters…and Jesus!

I’m reading what I wrote and I’m thinking about my recent past. I’m thinking about me and Pranee. I’m thinking about what happened between Pranee & I. I’m thinking about how what I wrote two and one half years ago because of someone else, could have also been written at any time in the past few months because of Pranee. The situations were different but the outcome the same. Same same, but different!

I am where I am because of the choices that I’ve made in the past. But, is that correct? What if it’s our future that decides what happens in the past? My friend Deb goes to these seminars put on by a group called Landmark Education. I attended one of the evening sessions(for friends of the participants) and remember them emphasizing that point, that it’s our future that impacts our present. As an aside, I was trying to find their website link when I came across a search find about the group being a cult or a scam. Here’s a link to a well written blog on the Landmark Forum.

How does our future impact our present? Think about that. Think about the choices that you make every single moment of every single day. The decision you make now isn’t based on what you want to happen in the past, the decisions you make today are being made to decide what you want or where you want to be in the future. That said, is it not, then, our future that decides our past? Is the present not tomorrow’s past?

What about events that are out of our control? What about that car accident you were just in. Did you just choose to be in that car accident? Being diagnosed with cancer? Choice? Fate? Our future self controlling our lives? Some higher being deciding what’s “best” for us?

Yesterday I went for a walk along the waterfront in downtown Nanaimo. There, as I’m walking along the pier, I get asked for some change from Jack. Jack doesn’t lie. He mustn’t be. He kept on insisting that all that he was saying was the truth. Jack isn’t homeless since he lives in a cheap motel. Receives a $900 per month disability pension. Doesn’t drink or do drugs. When he was 10 his dad bought him and his brother a BB gun. His dad said, “Be careful, you could lose an eye!” Well, guess what happened? Yes, he lost an eye. Had a glass eye most of his life but it was uncomfortable so he took it out. He showed me his eye socket. We chatted for about an hour about Jack’s life. Jack is quite intelligent. His daughter lives in northern Ontario and makes over $40 an hour. I ask him why he doesn’t live with her instead of alternating between the street and budget motels. He says, “We all need to live our own lives”. Choices!

Less than $2.00 in change gave me some valuable information. Jack’s life had an unfortunate accident, a ricocheting pellet that took his right eye away, that stopped him from working in the mines in Sudbury where he grew up. That accident allowed Jack to have had some life experiences he never would have had if he had stayed in Sudbury, such as being a radio announcer in White Horse, NWT.

The question remains, “Choices! Is it our future that decides what happens in the past?”

My choices. In Nanaimo for 2 weeks now applying for accounting jobs. Over a dozen job applications and no responses. I am a trained accountant. But I worked all my life for the Federal government in the tax department. All the jobs I’ve applied for require public practice or industry experience, which I don’t have. I also don’t lie. My resume shows that for the past 5 years I’ve tried making a living as a writer, photographer. and world traveler. I’ve also indicated that I left the Federal Government job for health reasons.

How do you prove to someone that you can do a 9 to 5 job, 5 days a week, when, for the past 5 years, most of what I’ve done is do stuff when I feel like it? I wouldn’t hire ME!

That’s the conundrum. I am at a point in my life where I cannot do anything different than what I am currently doing. I see it, though, I doubt anyone else can see that because they’re missing information and/or don’t see things as I see them. And, What am I doing?

I once told God/The Universe that I wanted to follow in Jesus Christ’s and Buddha’s footsteps. That I wanted to be the 21st Century version of these enlightened Masters. As I read through the Second Book of the Tao, I listen to the sage advice of Master Chuang-tzu and Master Chung Yung and I know, I see, I feel, that the knowledge of days long past is within me.

This knowledge makes no sense to the logical, common sense person that I am. But that is why I know that I am right and that I am also wrong. The Master knows what cannot be explained. It makes no sense.

Jack, Jack Smack (he said he doesn’t lie so that must be his name), has to leave and says, “Paul, you are a very nice guy”. Plus a few other accolades. Yes I am, because I have no problem spending an hour or two talking with a “homeless” person, or anybody else. But then, I am also very selfish. Balance!

Life is about Balance!

Think It! Feel It! Live It! Love It!